If desire and readiness directly affected a woman's fertility, how different would our lives be?
If it had depended on desire and readiness, I don't know when we would have had Jackson. We were never "trying." When we stopped attempting to prevent pregnancy, we had just been through the most painful trial of our marriage. To be honest with you, we needed something good to happen. We weren't dying for a baby and we weren't the type of people who already had all the parenting skills. I figured we'd probably never be "ready," so why not go ahead? It would probably take a while anyway.
Ten months later we had a son.
Meanwhile, one of my best friends, Christine, was in the market for a new car. She and her husband, Zach then a purchased a Volvo station wagon. They had only been married for a couple of years and didn't have any kids yet. They were still in the cool couple phase. So why on earth were they getting a Volvo? And a station wagon at that? Of course no one would have asked because it was clear that they were very excited about the car (which was indeed cool as far as family cars go). They had bought it in anticipation of starting their family soon. I still remember the happy look on Christine's face when she explained that decision to me. If desire and readiness were the determining factors of fertility, Christine would have maxed out that car and upgraded to a minivan in no time at all.
Several years later, Zach and Christine discovered that God's plan was to build their family through adoption. In His faithfulness, God had already given them a vision and desire for adoption. They had been visiting Christine's sister in Africa when the desire was conceived in their hearts. What they didn't know was that their parenting journey would begin that way.
My precious friend, who would have been thrilled with a honeymoon baby while the rest of us carefully strategized against it, has waited patiently while the rest of us went on to have baby number one and then baby number two. She has hosted our baby showers, she has gifted our children with beautiful and thoughtful presents, she has held them in their hospital rooms, she has photographed them, and she has loved them like an aunt. In fact, when we celebrated Christine's 30th birthday, all of our children wore t-shirts to the party that said, "Aunt Fitine is my BFF." (Fitine because that's how Addison Habermehl said it and it stuck.) Christine simply loves children. She was meant to be a mother.
I do not have any answers as to why the one who wanted it most had to wait the longest. But I do know one thing - the child who is placed in her arms forever will be very blessed. And I trust that when this whole story unfolds it will be a beautiful one that they would not trade for anything.
My friends and I have eagerly anticipated our opportunity to celebrate and throw a baby shower, to give beautiful presents, to take pictures holding that little bundle, and to teach him or her to call us Aunt Michelle, Aunt Kay Kay, and Auntie Manda. To the praise of our Father, that time has finally come. A birth mother has chosen Christine and Zach to parent her baby. The due date is later this spring. We are all beside ourselves with joy. A shower date is on the calendar and we can finally love on our friend and celebrate her journey toward motherhood as we have longed to do.
Part of our joy is to now help Zach and Christine raise the funds they need to make this adoption possible. We are selling t-shirts to help meet the goal. Yeah! Who doesn't love a new t-shirt? Will you help us bring their new baby M home?
Here are the details:
-The t-shirts say "To the least of these." They are heather gray with turquoise and clear ink.
Matthew 25:34-40 Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
Thank you for being a part of this story.
Aunt Michelle, Christine, Aunt Kay Kay, and Auntie Manda in August of 2008.