Monday, January 30, 2012

It's All New to Me

I’m not really a resolution-maker. Maybe it’s because I want to be ahead of the curve when it comes to breaking them. Maybe it has more to do with my short-sightedness. Whatever it is, I’ve not ever really sat down on the 31st of December to envision how I would fill the following 365 days. This year, though, I started out the year hearing a sermon based on Micah 6:8.

He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you but to do justice,
to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

I really want to know what this looks like. Today. In America.
How does one do justice?
What, exactly, would it look like in my everyday existence to love kindness (mercy in some translations)?
And that last one just flat scares me to death. I’ve got the faintest idea of what humility might look like and I am not sure that I could find any of it in my day-to-day if I searched with both hands.
He has indeed told us what is good. We know. We know that we’ve gone off the rails somewhere. It
does not ring true to us either when we say that we believe the whole of the Gospel message, but find ourselves living in a world where there are more people in slavery than at any other point in human history. Where tens of thousands of children die everyday from preventable causes like hunger. And, according to Micah, it is armed with what we know to be good that we are required to act.
I don’t know what it will look like.
I might have given up by March.
But I want to spend 2012 with the verbs.

Monday, January 23, 2012

The Stepping Stone

This is the last week we had with Miss D.  In December we felt God leading us to find a new family for her with no kids. She was 18 months behind emotionally and needed so much more attention than we could give her with 3 young kids in our house. Her parental rights were almost terminated and soon we would need to make a hard decision whether or not we were the right forever family for her.

We set out to adopt her and felt like God was calling us to this. However, the stress in our family was too much and our three year old was angry all the time. Our boys were begging for her to leave. In fact, we hung on for over a month trying to work it out because that is what we “thought” God was asking us to do.

In our training they made it very clear that they do not want to move children out of a home. We were battling what we thought God wanted us to do for her and what the agency wanted. Also, he had plenty of people to stick it out and lots of adoptive parents telling us to do that. I read plenty of blogs of how hard fostering is and could relate. However we knew something was not right.

Something in us knew that she had to move into another family. Despite all of what “man” was saying we moved forward in giving our 30 day notice asking the agency to find another family and one with no children. Just for you to know me…I don’t do anything half way. I don’t give up.  So, against all of my pride, we moved forward.  Trusting God in that conversation was hard. I was scared that she would not be placed with a good family.  I was scared of losing friends. It was time to put on my big girl panties on go with God even if it meant not getting approval.

The following Tuesday the agency found a couple that could of not been more perfect for Miss D.  We were able to come up with a transition plan of a week and half to help her get comfortable with them. God intricately matched the up together and they are very equipped to help advance her emotionally. She can be treasured in this home and they are already smitten with her. The amazing thing is that they are both teachers and work full time. If they would have gotten her 5 months ago there is no way they could have taken her to 18 medical appointments.  They actually were licensed to become foster parents two days before we gave our initial conversation with Arrow of finding her a new home.

We were the stepping stone with Miss D’s life. God never intended us to adopt her but to be her safe haven for 5 ½ months. Luckily, we can follow Miss D’s life and watch her grow up. God’s calling does not always give you the outcome you think. It sure did not line up with our plans, but ultimately His plan is much better. God has big plans for Miss D and to know that God used us in her life is such a blessing. Miss D’s name is Destinie. It was not her destiny to stay where she was and God chose to save her from that mess. What a beautiful testimony to witness.